Monday, 13 April 2009

Easter in Dubai

Festivals in Dubai are kinda disorienting.. I think its due to the multitude of cultures and communities living in the country that one ends up celebrating festivals in ways that could get u burned at the stake as a heretic in your home country/culture!! :)

Beware of making festival dinner plans at home with friends on a weekday as the average dubai resident (unless blessed by the traffic god) spends 1-2 hrs on average in travelling home in the evening. So to make it for ur party he must:-
a) come from work n end up looking like a stuffed shirt or freshen up and change clothes in hiscar and stun paralel cars into accidents thereby further reducing his chances of ever reaching ur party
b) he can go home , collect his family and then wipe his face with a babywipe before facing the rush hour traffic again from one suburb to another via the expressway!!!

In summation ur party will resemble Enron as a debacle and end up with just you and desperate bachelors who will drive across all 7 emirates just to eat something cooked in a house kitchen (unless Im cooking which means even the most homefood deprived bachelor will develop "I need to work late so sorry i cant make it" syndromes!

Centres of worship know that non-islamic festivals are not given a public holiday here in a mood to boost footfall hold strange assemblies/sessions starting 5.30am to 8am and 630pm to 12pm trying to lure the one-a-year devout to church/temple pre/post working hours.

Firecrackers are banned in the country and so are most oil lamps (due to fire hazards) so if you attempt to celebrate make sure u have an adequate supply of electric light to ensure it is really a "festival of lights"!!

I mean I have spent Vishu in KFC gnawing at some plascticy thing masquerading as a drumtick, Easter (yday) in a Pakistani restau pulling away at a roti as big as a Pathan and Diwali in my office food court trying to distinguish between the various coloured goo on the plate!

The reason I spend all my festivals in such outlandish restaus is becoz no Indian restau worth its weight in sand will be available either for takeout or sit-in as most women go on strike n order in a whole sadya. So orders have to be placed 1 week in advance and non-planners who require a reminder sms from India like me might as well try to eat at Rashtrapati bhavan!

So I guess most ppl like me will be eating burgers or subways tomorrow for Vishu while the rest attain nirvana via sambhar!

Sigh...Cest la vie!


  1. nice thought there babe....btw...where are the baby bump fotos??????hmm hmmm

  2. Ahh...that hurts for sure! Secularism is a boon for foodies now i realize..